A Snapshot of Confusion – Joke

A Snapshot of Confusion 2 - A Snapshot of Confusion - Joke

The Smiths had longed for a child but found themselves unable to conceive. They decided to seek the help of a surrogate father. On the day the surrogate was due to arrive, Mr. Smith gave his wife a peck on the cheek and said, “I’m off then. He should be here any minute.”

Not long after he left, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the bell, hoping to drum up some business. “Good morning, Ma’am,” he greeted, “I’ve come to…”

“Oh, there’s no need for explanations,” Mrs. Smith interrupted, a flush of embarrassment on her cheeks, “I’ve been expecting you.”

“Really?” the photographer asked, surprised. “Well, that’s wonderful. Did you know that babies are my specialty?”

“That’s exactly what my husband and I were hoping for. Please, come in and take a seat.”

After a brief pause, she inquired, a blush deepening, “So, where do we begin?”

“Just leave it all to me,” he reassured her. “I usually try a couple in the bathtub, one on the couch, and maybe a few on the bed. The living room floor can be quite fun too. There’s plenty of space to spread out.”

“The bathtub? The living room floor? No wonder Harry and I never had any luck!”

“Well, Ma’am, I can’t promise perfection every time, but if we try a few different positions and I shoot from several angles, I’m confident you’ll be thrilled with the outcomes.”

“That does sound like quite a lot,” Mrs. Smith gasped.

“In my profession, patience is key. I’d love a quick five-minute session, but I doubt you’d be satisfied with that.”

“You’re telling me,” Mrs. Smith murmured.

The photographer then opened his briefcase and showcased a portfolio of baby pictures. “This one was taken atop a bus,” he boasted.

“Good heavens!” Mrs. Smith gasped, hand to her throat.

“These twins turned out exceptionally well, considering their mother was quite the handful.”

“She was difficult?” Mrs. Smith queried.

“Indeed. I had to take her to the park to get the job done properly. We attracted quite a crowd, four or five people deep, all trying to get a good look.”

“People were watching?” Mrs. Smith’s eyes widened in shock.

“Yes,” he confirmed. “And for over three hours! The mother was so loud and fussy, it was tough to focus. And as the evening drew in, I had to hurry my shots. Eventually, when the squirrels started nibbling on my equipment, I had no choice but to pack up.”

“They nibbled on your… equipment?” Mrs. Smith leaned in, intrigued.

“Yes, Ma’am. But if you’re ready, I’ll set up my tripod, and we can start.”

“Tripod?”

“Absolutely. My Canon is far too hefty to hold up for long without one.”