The Cedar Chest Confessions – Joke

The Cedar Chest Confessions - The Cedar Chest Confessions - Joke

Saint Peter was at the Pearly Gates, processing the day’s newcomers.

The first man approached and recounted his final day: “I returned home early to find my wife naked in bed, claiming she had just showered. Yet, her hair was dry, and the shower untouched. Suspecting infidelity, I searched for her lover. On my balcony, I found a man clinging desperately to the railing. In a rage, I smashed his fingers with a flower pot. He plummeted, but awnings and bushes cushioned his fall. Seeing him alive, I mustered extraordinary strength, heaved our antique cedar chest over the edge, and crushed him. The ordeal was too much; I succumbed to a heart attack.”

Saint Peter nodded and directed him to the waiting room.

The second man stepped forward, lamenting his worst day: “I was servicing an AC unit on a building roof when I tripped and fell over the edge. Miraculously, I caught the balcony of a 9th-floor apartment. But then, some lunatic pummeled my hands with a flower pot. I dropped, survived the fall thanks to awnings and shrubbery, only to be finished off by a plummeting cedar chest.”

Saint Peter chuckled and sent him to join the first man.

As the third man arrived, Saint Peter, still amused, greeted him: “I bet your last day can’t top the tales of the two men before you.”

“Well,” the man began, “imagine this—I’m stark naked, hiding inside a cedar chest when…”